


Gravity is Losing its Hold

by QueenEgg



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mental Illness, Panic Attacks, Space as a metaphor for dissociation, Yoosung knows what he's doing, kind of, spoilers for seven's route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9471605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenEgg/pseuds/QueenEgg
Summary: Sometimes, when Seven is orbiting the earth, he needs someone else to pull him back and ground him to reality again.





	1. the light was off

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I wrote this threeshot in one night because the idea basically consumed me to the point where it was all I could think about. Now here it is. I may have projected slightly. Juuust slightly.
> 
> Please heed the warnings! Seven dissociates in both chapters one and two, and has a panic attack at the end of chapter one (which I tried to base off my own experiences somewhat). Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All work and no play makes Luciel Choi a stressed out boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for dissociation and a panic attack!
> 
> Recommended Listening for this chapter: Lavender - Two Door Cinema Club

Saeyoung was tired. Not just in a physical sense, either. There was a constant rolling storm in his mind which drained all of his energy, leaving him fatigued for days. It was during these times that all the emotions he did his best to hold in came spilling out in uncomfortable and unexpected ways. It took every ounce of effort to collect these feelings and force them down into an infinite abyss, never to be felt again. No one should ever have to know just how hard he worked to maintain the friendly facade that was Luciel Choi, otherwise known as Agent 707.

It was during these times that he himself faded into a willing oblivion. He might have had work to do, but it was nothing urgent. Right now, he could submit to the endlessly expanding universe. Saeyoung Choi was one with the other stars and heavenly bodies spread across the cosmos. He knew that at some point he’d have to follow the tether and return to the earthly plane, but for now, he was content to just _drift_.

Unfortunately, the world came back into focus much sooner than expected the moment he heard Vanderwood’s personalized ringtone blaring at him from his desk. Reaching for his phone while simultaneously trying to put on his glasses may have been a bad idea, but his mind was still too foggy to focus on his terrible inefficiency at the moment. Within a second, ‘Saeyoung’ melted into the background and Agent Seven snapped into place.

“Hellooo? Why are you calling me so early?”

“Seven, it is _Three PM._ ”

“Oh...” Sparing a glance at his phone’s screen, he realized he’d been wandering for much longer than he previously thought. “Sorry, you know how it is! When I get so in the zone-!”

“Yeah yeah cut the act. You were probably spacing out again or playing around on that messenger app of yours. I’m just checking in to notify you about your new deadline for tomorrow.” Wait, _tomorrow_?

“H-hold on...I thought I had until the weekend?” Even if he started right now, he’d be hard pressed to complete such an assignment in so little time.

“Yeah well, orders change, so you better get on it.” The line disconnected with a ‘click’ and Seven heard more than felt himself fall back against the covers.

Work time...

-

After a solid thirteen hours of non-stop work, Seven was cautiously treading the thin line that separated his fun-loving outward persona from his self-depreciating and painfully realist one. He’d been avoiding the RFA messenger all day. His stress levels were through the roof, and he knew that if he logged on now, everyone would know something was wrong. Still, despite his own forced isolation, he longed for interaction. Checking his progress, he realized that he’d finished just over half his work. Maybe it would be okay if he took a teeny tiny break...

Immediately ditching his cluttered workstation, he snatched his phone off the desk and ran to the kitchen to retrieve another bag of chips and a new soda. Popping the tab on his PHD. Pepper while logging into the RFA app, a grin automatically appeared on his face when he noticed Yoosung was online. While taking a generous sip from the can, he excitedly typed out a message with one hand.

_707 has joined the chat room._

**707** : Hey Yoosungie!

 **Yoosung** ☆: Seven! Hi!

 **Yoosung** ☆: and don’t call me that!

 **707** : Aww, but my cutie deserves a cute nickname!

 **707** : Doesn’t he?

 **707** : Yes he does!

 **Yoosung** ☆: Stop it;;;

 **Yoosung** ☆: If you just came on to mess with me,

 **Yoosung** ☆: then maybe you should just go back to what you were doing before you logged on.

Seven couldn’t help the enthusiastic giggle that escaped from his mouth. He loved had so much fun playing with Yoosung. The younger boy always had such emotional responses to his teasing. It was a near endless source of enjoyment for him, and a great stress reliever after a long day.

 **707** : Sorry, sorry!

 **707** : What are you doing up so late???

 **707** : Growing boys need their rest!

 **Yoosung** ☆: I just finished a raid on LOLOL!!!

 **Yoosung** ☆: My guild managed to beat a _super-tough boss_!

 **Yoosung** ☆: and they let me keep the best loot because I worked super hard^^

 **707** : Oh

 **707** : That’s great!

 **707** : Nothing like doing some good old fashioned

 **707** : Recreational

 **707** : Activity!

 **Yoosung** ☆: Haha

 **Yoosung** ☆: You would know, wouldn’t you?

 **Yoosung** ☆: After all, we haven’t played together in forever;;

 **Yoosung** ☆: Do you even log in at all anymore?

 **Yoosung** ☆: Your job must be too demanding if you can’t even get a little free time.

 **Yoosung** ☆: Maybe you should find a different one

Yoosung’s words struck a chord in him. Just when was the last time he’d gotten the chance to play with his boy? Seven searched his brain for a recent date but found himself lost for words. Had it really been that long since he had last spent time playing online with the blond? He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice Yoosung texting him.

 **Yoosung** ☆: Seven?

 **Yoosung** ☆: Se~ven~

 **Yoosung** ☆: Did you fall asleep?

 **Yoosung** ☆: I mean,

 **Yoosung** ☆: it is pretty late.

 **Yoosung** ☆: But usually you’re up longer than this;;

Just why was he doing this for anyways? He worked day and night, starved himself of both food and friendship, forced himself not to build attachments, and for what reason? Of course, he knew why he committed himself to this job. Everything he did was for-

Wordlessly, he shut off his phone and slid down to the kitchen floor, soda can set aside, with his head in his hands.

He hadn’t seen Saeran for years. V and Rika had never provided him with any updates beyond the sparse set of photographs he’d been sent sometime after he left. But, he’d looked _happy_. Happier than he’d ever been with Saeyoung around. Leaving was supposed to be a smart decision that would benefit them both, but now, he was experiencing the dangerous feeling known as _remorse_. He couldn’t-  _didn’t_ regret sacrificing his life and future for Saeran’s own. But was it really necessary for him to keep working for this agency? He hardly felt like he was living up to his full potential in this job, and he spent all his time collecting information and data that could possibly be used to hurt people. His existence was a certifiable disaster.

The more he focused on it, the more of his anxieties came rushing in. Saeyoung could feel his thoughts starting to get pulled into the swirling torrent within the center of his mind. The world was twisting and spinning and suddenly too bright for him to handle.

His breath came in sharp pants as he slammed his hand against the light switch, effectively plunging the room into darkness. The walls were closing in on him. Was that a light or was the agency watching him have a meltdown right now? He didn’t know anything about that, but he knew he needed _out_.

Staggering to his feet, he tripped and stumbled his way through the dark to his computers. Not thinking about anything except the rapidly narrowing tunnel that his conscious was being funneled through, he unlocked all the doors andset his monitors to idle before fumbling with the handles so he could open them and get up to the roof. He should be outside, he had to see the sky, he needed to look at the stars and surrender himself beneath the shining lights of the galaxy.


	2. your door was open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoosung makes a few hasty decisions and a stressful discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter I think!
> 
> Recommended Listening for this chapter: The Moment I Said It - Imogen Heap

Yoosung was worried about Seven. Usually, this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Seven did things that were a mystery to everyone else in the RFA. They simply went along with it because, well, he was Seven Zero Seven. Resident hacker and creator of the very app that they used to communicate daily. He never told them if he was having issues but Yoosung believed that he knew Seven well enough that he could tell when something was wrong. The other boy had subtle queues that were an obvious giveaway to his mood.

For one, he’d actually apologized for messing with him. Seven never apologized for joking or playing around with Yoosung. They both knew it was a joke, and Yoosung couldn’t find it in himself to stay mad at the redhead for long. Not when he knew that there was an underlying sadness that was normally covered up by the exuberant mask that he wore when around them.

Second, Seven had logged out of the messenger without replying to him or even saying goodbye. It was extremely unnatural for him to leave without giving some reason for why he was vanishing at the moment. Whether it was to get a fresh bag of honey buddha chips or to start work on a new project, he always said where he was going beforehand.

Now Yoosung was sitting in his room, staring at his phone screen in the dark. It had been at least an hour since Seven’s last message and his fears were reaching critical mass. He had to know whether or not Seven was alright, but he lived quite far away from him. It was at least thirty minutes by train from his dorm to Seven’s house. However, no one else knew about the current situation, and it was much too late to contact the other RFA members about it.

Nodding to himself, Yoosung threw a few blankets, water bottles, and snacks into a backpack and lifted the whole thing onto his shoulders while snagging his wallet and keys on his way out. Gently closing the dorm room door behind him, he sprinted to the train station in record time, thankful for online booking and late-night schedules.

During the ride, he would admit that he was too anxious to sleep. His mind was rampant with possibilities of what might have happened to his friend. He just hoped he wasn’t too late.

-

He’d run all the way to Seven’s home from the train station. His legs were aching terribly, but he was so close that he didn’t even care. The interior of Seven’s house was completely dark, sending a shiver of fear through Yoosung as he approached the front step. When he reached the gate he was expecting a security question, but the lock in question was silent. Upon giving it a gentle push, he discovered that it was actually unlocked. The panic in his chest only grew as he found the front door to be in a similar state. As he entered the house, he realized that the entire house was covered in shadows. The only lights on were coming from his consoles, which eerily glowed in their sleep states.

Yoosung ran from room to room, checking every single spot where he thought Seven might be. Maybe this was all an elaborate prank, and when he finally found him, Seven would jump out from wherever he was hiding and say ‘ _Congratulations, you found me cutie!_ ’ and then they would hug and share some of Seven’s chips and play LOLOL all night. But that was only wishful thinking. He had scoured every single place in the building. All the nooks and crannies that were big enough for Seven to fit into were thoroughly investigated, but he found neither hide nor hair of the hacker anywhere. The only evidence he could find of his recent activities was a- now flat -can of PhD. Pepper on the kitchen counter.

Yoosung had been looking for so long that he figured it might even be close to morning. He was exhausted, yet his nerves were keeping him going even in the face of incredible fatigue. So far, the only place he hadn’t checked was the garage. But it would be incredibly unsafe for Seven to go driving this late at night while also forgetting to lock his doors. Regardless, he went to check anyways. After finding all the cars still untouched and in their immaculately parked positions, Yoosung stepped outside to take a breather. It was still late enough that the stars were out in full view. He never saw this many while he was in the city.

Craning his neck upwards, he spied the soft glow of the full moon, and out of the corner of his eye, a shock of red pulled his gaze in. His eyes widened as he registered just what he was seeing, and then his feet were moving on their own, speeding towards the roof of Seven’s house with utmost urgency.

Something inside him broke at the sight of his usually animated friend standing at the perfect falling distance with his glassy eyes focused on the sky. The tips of Seven’s shoes were extending just beyond the edge of the roof. If he slipped-

A pained noise escaped him and he saw Seven shiver lightly. Yoosung approached slowly until he was within arms-length of the other and gently curled his arm around Seven’s limp one, lightly pulling him to step down and further away from the two story drop. Once they were back in the center of the roof, Yoosung allowed himself a small sigh of relief, then refocused on the task at hand.

Seven’s eyes weren’t there. He looked completely lost, his sight distant and far away. Yoosung knew he was missing something important here, but for now, he had to help his friend.

“...Seven? Have you been standing out here for long?” No response. “Your legs must be getting tired by now, right? Do you want to sit down?” He tugged on Seven’s jacket sleeve and guided him down into a sitting position next to him. Although it wasn’t windy that night, it was still rather cold out, and Yoosung didn’t want Seven to get sick. Pulling one of the blankets out from his backpack, he draped it over their shoulders and let his leg brush against Seven’s. Despite him having apparently stood out here for most of the night, the other boy was still quite warm, so Yoosung would take that as a win.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to get Seven back into the house like this, but he didn’t know how to bring him out of the trance that he appeared to be trapped in. Right now, all he could do was provide some kind of company, even if Seven couldn’t feel him. Pulling out another blanket and throwing it over their legs, he hesitantly leaned into Seven’s midsection. After a moment or two he felt the other shift, and then an arm was curling around his shoulder.

Once reassured that he wouldn’t suddenly get up and do something potentially dangerous to himself, Yoosung succumbed to the warmth Seven’s presence and fell into a light sleep.


	3. but you weren't home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up and realizing that things aren't as bad as they seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for implied suicidal themes in this chapter (but only vaguely).
> 
> Recommended Listening for this chapter: Infinitesimal - Mother Mother

When Saeyoung woke up, the last thing he would’ve expected to see was a gorgeous sunrise, with an even more gorgeous boy asleep in his lap. His back hurt something awful, but the pain was a mere nuisance that he could push to the side while he observed the blond whose head was currently resting on his thigh. Apparently, he’d had another episode last night, but that didn’t explain why Yoosung was here.

Shifting slightly, he could hear at least a _dozen_ of his joints popping as he raised his arms above his head in a stretch and yawn. Coherency (mostly) returned, he realized that Yoosung must have found him at the edge. There was no other reason for why they’d be sitting in the dead-center of the roof, with the other boy conveniently placed in a way that would cause him to wake should Saeyoung decide to get up abruptly. He had to admit, he didn’t expect to drift off into deep space last night. He remembered hearing a soft voice, and for a moment there was movement, then there was just a feeling of comfort filling the empty void in him. Looking down at his cutie, Saeyoung allowed himself a moment of self-indulgence as he let his fingers comb through Yoosung’s baby soft hair.

Then, he was slowly making his way back into consciousness beneath his palm, hand stilling as the younger boy slowly woke up. It only took a few moments, and then he was rolling over slightly, eyes fluttering open. Deep purple meet gold and his heart was fit to burst.

“Hey...” Yoosung sounded so adorable when he was sleepy, and Saeyoung had to forcibly restrain himself from resuming the petting of his hair.

“Hey, yourself... What are you doing here, cutie?” There was a tired groan before Yoosung was sitting up and wrapping his arms around him unexpectedly.

“You didn’t say goodbye last night. I got worried...so I came to check on you.” Saeyoung blinked in confusion.

“Okay...but that’s like, a half hour train ride, and how did you get past the front gate?” Yoosung laughed oddly before reaching over to a backpack that he hadn’t noticed before. He pulled out a water bottle and a package of plain biscuits and handed them to him before getting his own.

“Here, I bet you didn’t eat last night. As for the gate, you left all of your stuff unlocked, so you might want to do something about that soon.” Gee, early morning Yoosung was really straight to the point and- _what_? The biscuits crunched in his hand as he gave Yoosung an alarmed look.

“W-wait, what do you mean I left everything unlocked?” To his credit, Yoosung didn’t look phased by Saeyoung’s sudden outburst at all.

“It’s okay, I made sure everything was closed. But I couldn’t turn your security system back on. When I came up here last night you were so close to the edge I thought that the breeze would send you tipping over.” There was a pause. “You scared me, Seven...” Saeyoung flinched at his codename and forced his eyes downward.

“S-Saeyoung...”

“What?”

“I w-want you to call me by my real name. Just...just for now, please.” He held his breath and released it the moment he heard Yoosung’s whispered ‘okay’. “Thank you, and, I’m sorry I made you worry.” He took a second to glance at the sunrise, which was quickly reaching an astounding shade of golden orange that had him smiling involuntarily.

“You know, I wouldn’t have done it.” Yoosung made a noise of confusion from beside him, a prompt for him to clarify more. “I always come up here when I need to...drift, I guess. Usually, I wake up standing on the edge, or a few feet away from it. I wouldn’t have gone over.” There’s a squeezing sensation around his middle and he realizes that Yoosung his hugging him again.

“I didn’t know that at the time. I was terrified for you. I thought you might _die_.” There was a light sniffle and Saeyoung trembled in the shorter boy’s grip. “Don’t do that to me again, Saeyoung. Please. I don’t think I could handle losing-“ His breath hitched. “Losing someone else...like that.” There was no need to explain who the ‘someone else’ was, and Saeyoung set his water bottle aside so he could gather Yoosung up in a one-armed embrace.

“I know, I’m sorry again. I’ll- I’ll try to warn you next time.” A thought came into his mind. “Wait, did you seriously come here on your own last night? How did you get here from the train station?”

“I ran.” Saeyoung made a choked noise.

“Y-Yoosungie...that’s an eight-minute drive by car...” The slightly embarrassed look on Yoosung’s face did nothing to soften the realization that he had run about five miles just because he was _worried_ about him. Something in his chest tightened. This boy, he was incredible.

Putting those thoughts out of his mind for the moment, he lay back against the hard surface of the roof and looked up, eyes immediately focusing on the darkest part of the sky, where only a few stars continued to shine. Then Yoosung was leaning over him, replacing his view of the sky with the sight of his golden hair catching the light on the edges. It looked like there was a halo around him and Saeyoung felt the air leave his lungs. _Breathtaking_...

“Saeyoung...” A shudder ran through his whole body as soon as he heard Yoosung speak his real name. These were thoughts he shouldn’t be having, but after his revelation last night, he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

“Yes?” A rolled up blanket was placed next to his head and then Yoosung was resting against it, watching him with those expressive lavender eyes he lov- adored so much.

“You...you’re alright now, yeah?” A soft laugh bubbled up from his chest and he reached for Yoosung’s hand, letting their fingers curl around each other.

“I’m okay, Yoosung. I accidentally let myself float too far out into space last night. But it’s a good thing I had my shooting star to lead me back home.” They were incredibly close now, their noses nearly brushing. Saeyoung wondered if the other boy could hear his pounding heartbeat.

“Does that mean you’re back to stay?” He couldn’t say for sure. There was always the chance that something else might trigger an episode, but thinking back to how Yoosung had looked after him without even having experienced such a thing before. He felt... _safe_ with him.

“I don’t know...I think I might be trapped in your orbit instead.” It wasn’t until he felt Yoosung’s lips pressing against his that he felt himself solidly reconnect with the world. Reality snapped back into place and he sighed with delight at having the blond in his arms.

_Astronaut Saeyoung Choi has officially landed on earth._

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk about Yooseven (and other ships!!) with my on my tumblr @ saeranspancakes


End file.
